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How To Support A Sexually Abused Victim

May 25, 2020 • Kelly Montgomery

The 2019 Stop Abuse Event did not only talk about the realities of sexually abused victims but also provided tips to loved ones who care. Admit it or not, we don’t know how to approach these people. Do we walk on glass with everything we say or do we lend an ear and say nothing at all? With these in mind, here are some of the things that you should know, and a few tips you can apply when consoling them.

Listen To What They Have To Say

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Each victim has their own story. There are times that they might feel a little awkward about what has happened to them. If they are ready to talk, however, then make sure to listen to their story. Let them express their fear, frustration, anger, and sadness in their struggles. At the same time, do not try to butt in when they’re in the middle of their story as they might only feel judged.

Show Empathy, Not Sympathy

Most sexually abused victims prefer receiving empathy as compared to sympathy. They want to feel loved and understood. Some of the phrases that you can utter are the following:

  • “You’re so courageous to be able to talk about this.”
  • “I believe in you.”
  • “You have done nothing wrong to deserve this.”
  • “It will never be your fault.”
  • “You are not alone.”
  • “I am here to listen and help in every way I know how.”
  • “This should not have happened to you.”

Avoid saying statements like “Don’t cry.” or “Cheer up.” Let them process their feelings and show your support by understanding what they’re going through.

Regularly Check Up On Them

Even if they experienced these sexual assaults a long time ago, you should still check them regularly. Although it’s in the past already, it does not mean that it’s entirely gone. Always ask how they are to remind them that there are still a lot of people who care for their wellbeing.

Know Your Resources

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You’re a reliable and consistent supporter, but you must know how to manage these situations. To be able to validate their feelings, you must educate yourself using reliable resources on the internet. 

Ways To Create An Emotionally Supportive Home For Your Kids Amidst The COVID-19 Outbreak

April 24, 2020 • Kelly Montgomery

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It has been an incredibly challenging time for all of us as the pandemic continues to hit numerous countries around the world. It has affected many families, threatened job security, and overwhelmed health care systems. Many feel the stress and anxiety brought by the uncertainties of the pandemic. Parents now have a definitive role in maintaining a safe and supportive home for their children.

Children may deal with their emotions in different ways. With the schools closing, events getting postponed, or being separated from their friends, they are going to need support as they cope with the sudden changes in their lives. They may not directly express their feelings, but they are facing the same stress, and anxiety parents probably feel these days.

It’s important that in times like this, children feel comfortable sharing their emotions and understand that they are not alone. Here are some ways parents can create an emotionally supportive home for their children amidst the ongoing global crisis:

Inform Your Children Thoroughly

Keeping secrets from your children never helps. It is important to inform children by discussing what is COVID-19 pandemic while engaging them in a calm conversation. Answer their questions truthfully and explain the reasons why they are experiencing unexpected shifts.

Avoid using words that may scare them as they have the same worries just like you have. Creating a relaxed atmosphere can motivate them to tell you if ever they’re not feeling well. You can also comfort your kids by informing them about the generally mild health risks to children and young adults.

Melissa Merrick, Ph.D., and Robert Sege, MD, Ph.D., advised to, “Explain why physical distancing, staying at home, not playing outside with their friends, and canceling school are personal sacrifices that they (and we) make for the good of all of us.” You can also initiate to them a sense of responsibility in keeping everyone safe. Remind your kids that we all must think about the people around us, too and that staying at home can help limit the spread of the virus.

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Let Your Children Process Their Feelings

Do not dismiss the emotions of your children. Their issues may feel small to you, but they can be a great deal for your children. While some children may quickly get by with the situation, some may have difficulty dealing with this unique situation. Be supportive of their emotions, help them cope by reminding them that being frustrated is normal. Support them and convey empathy to their problems.

Stick To An Organized Routine At Home

Children can feel the days are passing by if they’re productive throughout the day. You can encourage your family to create a new structured schedule for them to follow daily. Make timetables for their activities so that everyone can monitor them. For example, plan when they should be doing schoolwork, playing, connecting with their friends online, or do chores.

For children aged ten and above, it will be ideal for getting them involved in shaping their day. Ask them about the things they want to prioritize so they can have a sense of ownership of their schedule. Your children can find great relief when there is consistency, predictability, and time management.

Check Where They Are Getting The News

Misinformation on the internet is rampant. When your children take in such news without proper guidance, it may create more panic and induce stress. Check-in with what they hear about the pandemic, and debunk the wrong information they received.

It’s not adequate to give them accurate facts. You must discover what they already grasp and work from there. If you don’t, your children might mix up the misinformation with the truth. Keep a calm demeanor in discussing with your kids the importance of receiving reliable news.

Source: pexels.com

Make Delightful Distractions

To help your kids balance their emotions, welcome new activities that everyone in the family can enjoy. Distractions give your kids relief from feeling stress and unsettled. Have a family game night, make arts and crafts projects, cook meals and exercise together, or do chores.

Encourage Communication From Other People

Communication plays a huge role in regulating children’s moods. Let them use social media to stay connected virtually. It can make them feel less alone during this crisis.

Children model their behavior from their parents. If they feel that you are panicking, they may also feel worried. They rely on you for a sense of balance and security. As much as you’re probably in a state of panic and shock, too, you must manage your anxiety and stress. Your children need you to be reliable, so stay healthy and remain open with your family’s emotional struggles.

How To Help Your Teen Cope With Her Pregnancy

March 31, 2020 • Kelly Montgomery

The 2017 Teenage Pregnancy Summit further promotes the society’s roles in helping teens cope with their pregnancies. More so, families—as the smallest unit of society—have a definitive role in assisting teenagers as they manage the changes in their lives. As much as the news of your teenage daughter’s pregnancy shattered your heart, it is best to move forward and support her in her trying times.

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Teenage pregnancy can have a profound impact on your daughter’s life. As parents, you have to be strong for yourself and your child. You can help your daughter cope with her pregnancy by making her understand her options, health risks, and the possible difficulties ahead.

Provide Her With Constant Support

As much as it shocked you, your child is experiencing anxiety and fears as well. It is best if you ask her about her feelings, comfort her with your presence, and nourish her with love now more than ever. You can also give her tips regarding the changes in her body, such as morning sickness, and assist her in scheduling prenatal appointments. 

It’s also best to remember that forcing your opinions on your child regarding her pregnancy won’t do any good. It will be better to have an open and understanding communication with each other in discussing her and the baby’s future.

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Source: unsplash.com

Discuss With Your Teen Her Options Regarding Her Pregnancy

A pregnant teen does have various options to consider, such as the following:

  • Keeping the baby. In case your daughter decides to keep the baby, you have to discuss with her the responsibilities she will now have. Be realistic and practical so that your teen can visualize the whole picture.
  • Placing the baby up for adoption. If your teen decides to give the baby up for adoption, discuss with her the types of services available. Come with her in consulting with professionals and talk about the emotional impact it entails.

During this time, it’s best not to be judgmental and let your teen make her own decisions. Your role as her parents is to guide, not to dictate.

Encourage Proper Prenatal Care

Teenage pregnancies are considered high risk as their body is just starting to grow and are not yet fully matured. Encourage your teen to inquire about prenatal care, get tested for sexually transmitted infections, eat healthily, and stay physically active.

 

 

Teenage Pregnancy: Keeping The Baby

January 31, 2020 • Kelly Montgomery

The issue of teenage pregnancy is something that people need to be serious of. Unfortunately, there are still many areas all over the world wherein sex education is not provided to the teenagers. Some countries are still conservation, which is why the topics about sex are considered taboo in an educational institution. The effect of this is that many young individuals fail to take into consideration the consequences when they engage in unprotected sex.

Source: flickr.com

 

Finish reading “Teenage Pregnancy: Keeping The Baby

What It Is Like To Date A Drug Addict

January 24, 2020 • Kelly Montgomery

Nowadays, there are already many changes in the dating world. The truth is that a lot of things have changed over the past few years. Because of these, it becomes more complicated for many people to get to know one another or to bring the relationship to the next level. One of the issues that usually come up in the dating cycle is realizing that you had a wrong first impression of the other person. A great example of this is meeting someone you like who, unfortunately, is a drug addict.

Source: pixabay.com

Finish reading “What It Is Like To Date A Drug Addict

Tips On Helping A Spouse Deal With Alcoholism

January 17, 2020 • Kelly Montgomery

Are you aware that many people consider addiction as a regular occurrence in their lives? These individuals believe that being addicted to something is only typical. Because of this, they fail to see the adverse effects that addiction brings.

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Finish reading “Tips On Helping A Spouse Deal With Alcoholism

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy As A Way Of Dealing With Addiction 

January 10, 2020 • Kelly Montgomery

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The availability of drugs, narcotics, cigarettes, and alcohol all over the world has made it easier for many individuals to suffer from addiction. When a person becomes addicted or dependent on certain substances or items, it becomes difficult on his part to quit it. However, this does not indicate that it is not possible at all. With proper guidance and assistance of a professional therapist, the said individual may be cured of addiction.   

  Finish reading “Cognitive Behavioral Therapy As A Way Of Dealing With Addiction 

Teenage Pregnancy And Psychiatry

January 3, 2020 • Kelly Montgomery

One of the worst things that you may encounter in this life is to find out that your teenage daughter is pregnant. Once you discover about this, your heart will inevitably break. This is only normal, especially when you want nothing else but the best for your child. However, focusing on the problem will only make the recovery process more difficult on your part. As such, the right thing to do is to accept the situation and deal with it, as any mature individual would do. 

Source: pixabay.com

Finish reading “Teenage Pregnancy And Psychiatry

Help A Partner Get Over Substance Abuse

December 27, 2019 • Kelly Montgomery

Many kinds of challenges may come in every marriage. Some of these obstacles are just small, which is why they can be resolved almost instantaneously. On the other hand, some issues are too significant in that they require immediate attention as well as the constant effort from both spouses. One of these serious issues in a marriage is finding out that your spouse has been doing too much. Of course, you want to help him get over this negative situation in life. The question now is: How can you make it happen? 

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  Finish reading “Help A Partner Get Over Substance Abuse

Strengthen The Youth Through Music And Arts

December 20, 2019 • Kelly Montgomery

 

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Adolescence is the second infanthood. During these years, people are like a sponge absorbing everything they observe and experience, and as parents, we must make sure our children only learn the positive things around them. With all negativity seen and felt around including school and social media, we need to pay close attention to all their activities, making sure they are healthy ones.

The minds of adolescents are fragile during these years. They are trying to figure out their interests, skills, and identity. Music and arts are among the few healthy hobbies that our children can do. “There is a growing body of research that supports how music nurtures children’s success at school and in life. A study in the journal Social Science Quarterly, Adolescents Involved with Music Do Better in School, found that music also had positive effects on reading and math,” wrote Marilyn Price-Mitchell, PhD.

Encourage them to engage in school activities involving music and arts.

 

School Activities They Can Join:

Music

  • Choir

Schools have a choir that sings during special occasions and gatherings. It is composed of students who are skilled in singing. They get to compete with other schools and showcase their talent.

 

  • Music Club

Clubs are available for students who are interested in developing new interests or skills. They don’t have to be excellent. It is a club for all the students who have the same interest, and it’s a perfect tool to develop their social skills at the same time.

 

  • Musical Instrument Classes

Whether your child is excellent or just wants to learn to play music using guitar, drums, violin, etc., support him by providing him with an instrument of his choice. Encourage him to join a musical instrument class so that he can develop his skills.

Masha Godkin, PsyD, LMFT, said, “Music activates both the left and right brain at the same time, and the activation of both hemispheres can maximize learning and improve memory.”

 

  • School DJ

If your child just likes music but doesn’t show any interest in singing or playing an instrument, he can audition for the school DJ where he’d be able to play the music of famous singers and musicians for his schoolmates.

 

Arts

  • Drawing

Some children are skilled that they never stopped learning to create beautiful drawing ever since they held a pencil when they were three. If your child has a talent for making masterpieces using pen, ink, charcoal, crayons, and colored pencils, encourage him to join clubs that showcase and develop his talent.

 

  • Painting

Painting is an art of expressing one’s interpretation of his feelings or the situation of the world in general. It uses different colors of paints and paintbrushes. Encourage your child to join a club that teaches different techniques in creating masterpieces.

 

  • Handicrafts

Handicrafts is an art of making useful things through the use of ideas and creativity. Fans, hats, accessories, slippers, shirts, and bags are a few examples of stuff that can be handmade. It takes a keen eye to create something magnificent. It is a perfect art for children aspiring to be fashion or interior designers.

 

  • School Paper

The school paper is an excellent tool for students who are skilled in writing or journaling.  The art of creative and effective communication is rare, and if you see your child possessing this skill, encourage him to join the school paper. It could be a stepping stone towards his success in media and communications.

 

  • School Decorations

School events and gatherings are not complete without the decorations. A team of creative students brainstorms to come up with an impressive theme that will direct the flow of the event. The level of thinking and decision making of the students are tested to make the school decorations powerful enough to make a statement to their fellow students.

 

Source: tmlink.org

 

The talents and skills of the youth should be developed and nourished at a young age. Being able to master their craft is a healthy way to express themselves and build self-esteem. “Art enhances self-knowledge and self-expression. When we’re creating art, we are making decisions about what we like,” wrote Katie Willard Virant MSW, JD, LCSW. “Not only are we tuning in to ourselves when we create art, but we also are expressing ourselves by making an external representation of our internal world.”

At this stage of their lives, they often have problems with their identity, and music and arts are instruments in helping the youth avoid or overcome adolescent behavioral issues such as alcohol and substance abuse, bullying, school dropout, teenage pregnancy, truancy, and violence.